


Yours until my heart dies

by ColorfulWarlock



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coma, Episode: s03e20 City of Glass, Immortal Husbands, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, Rescue Missions, Soul Bond, Time Skips, edom, ghost!alec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22797136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulWarlock/pseuds/ColorfulWarlock
Summary: “Alec is not here,” she shuddered suddenly, biting her lower lip.Magnus didn’t like that expression. Not a bit.“Isabelle… Where is Alec?”“Magnus…”“Please, no more lies.”
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 39
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You know how in 3x20 Jonathan merely left when he could have done some serious damage to a vulnerable Alec? Yeah, this story came from that. It will be kinda short, but I hope you all like it!
> 
> Thank you for beta-ing this chapter, [saff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviesfreckles) <3

Alicante was a blazing inferno. Buildings were tumbling down, flames licked everything, hundreds of Nephilim were running – some to fight, some to hide –, and a horde of demons maculated the sacred sky as if the very Apocalypse decided to take back the Angel’s children.

However, it didn’t matter how many demons they killed, more and more came. If they didn’t close the rift, Alicante would be no more by morning.

Isabelle Lightwood was prepared to go full force at the group of flying demons approaching, when a firestorm destroyed all of them, causing a rain of ashes. She turned in time to see her favorite Warlock grinning.

“Sorry, I’m late. Traffic was hell.”

“Magnus!” She beamed, running towards him and hugging him.

“Hello, Isabelle,” he took a minute to let her comforting presence sink in, reminding him that he still had that. He still had friends, people who cared about him.

It was then she noticed a very important detail.

“Your magic. So, he really…” She trailed, shutting her mouth suddenly.

“I know about the deal, and already dealt with that. Asmodeus can’t come between me and Alec anymore,” Magnus sounded tired, drained somehow. He was furious with Alec, but at the same time he wanted nothing more than kiss the hell out of his selfless Shadowhunter. That heartbreaking night, he said Alec wasn’t selfish, and he was glad to be proved right. They needed to have a long conversation.

Izzy nodded, relieved. “I never saw him so defeated, Magnus. Asmodeus demanded that he break your heart to give your magic back, but it wasn’t only yours that was broken.”

“It seems your brother and I still have a long path regarding communication.” Magnus sighed, but soon squared his shoulders, glancing around. “Speaking of Alec, where is he, with Jace?” It made sense that he would be fighting along with his _parabatai_ in the chaos.

“No, Jace is with Clary looking for Jonathan. Alec… Alec is not here,” she shuddered suddenly, biting her lower lip.

Magnus didn’t like that expression. Not a bit.

“Isabelle… Where is Alec?”

“Magnus…”

“Please, no more lies.”

Izzy rubbed her hands over her face as if trying to keep herself together, uncertainty bleeding into her eyes.

“Even if the truth will break your heart again?”

“Try me.”

He didn’t know if there was still a fragment full enough to break more than it already had been.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath, but her voice sounded cracked all the same, “Earlier, when we confronted Jonathan and Clary to separate them, we…”

She took another breath, “We had a good plan. Jace had to distract Jonathan while I fought Clary. She had the Morning Star sword and I had Glorious. Alec kept his distance to be Jace’s backup, but me and Clary lost our swords. Then Jace came running and took Glorious, stabbing Clary and freeing her from Jonathan. Alec… was with Jonathan when it happened.”

Magnus’ face lost all its color. He had a faint idea of what happened after.

“Without the rune bonding them, I think something snapped inside Jonathan and his demon side took the best of him. I was hit with shards of Glorious when it exploded. It took some time to get back to Alec, and then… Then…” Izzy’s eyes glazed with unshed tears.

“I never heard Jace scream like that, Magnus. It was bad. When we finally got to Alec, he…” She shook her head as if trying to rid herself of the gory image.

Magnus felt his knees grow weak, and suddenly he was on the ground.

“Alec… He… Did he…?”

“No,” Izzy whispered, not trusting her own voice, “He’s being treated at the Institute now, but…”

A moment of silence, only broken by the shriek of demons.

Magnus had to close his eyes after Izzy’s next words.

“He is in a coma.” 

~*~

It had been two months since Magnus had come to Edom. He volunteered to close the demonic rift to save Alicante after Jonathan destroyed the Morning Star sword. Sometimes he wondered why he did that. After all, he was no Nephilim. He owed nothing to a place that, for a long time, thought of him as a lesser and undignified creature. The Clave was probably even happy they had gotten rid of him. They were probably laughing, flippant in the face of his sacrifice.

Well, he didn’t care about them either. He only did what he did for the Shadowhunter kids he had gotten so attached to. He did it for his Alexander, because when his Shadowhunter woke up, he would be relieved to know that his home was safe.

Had he woken up already? Magnus didn’t know.

He couldn’t communicate with anyone, nor leave Edom without risking reopening the rift. Since the realm was unstable in Lilith’s weakened state and Asmodeus’ banishment, portal travel from outside or summoning circles were nearly impossible. He was trapped in this literal hell hole.

The worst part? Magnus never had the chance to say goodbye to Alec. He didn’t have time to portal to the New York Institute, and frankly, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to leave him if he saw his lover unconscious on a bed.

His stupid, selfless, wonderful Shadowhunter.

How cruel it was to know that their last moments together were heartbreaking. Magnus having a seizure and losing his magic once again, a beautiful proposal dinner ruined, Alec breaking Magnus’ heart so he could get his magic back, and when he thought he was going to get his boyfriend back, Alec was in a coma and he got a one-way ticket to Hell.

Angels and demons alike, what an outrageous sense of humor.

Now, the only thing he had to hold himself together and remember the good times with was the Lightwood family ring. The very one Maryse gave to him that day when the truth came to light. In a fairer world, Alec would be in Alicante too, and Magnus would propose before leaving. They would exchange rings and make a promise. Perhaps Magnus would make some stupid joke. 

The Universe hated him.

Sighing, he twisted the Lightwood ring on his finger one more time. He missed Alec so much…

“Magnus.”

His heart missed Alec so much that he was hearing his voice, even here.

“Magnus!”

The voice was louder now, and when Magnus turned, Alec was passing the threshold, entering the throne’s room.

“Alexander!” Magnus’ eyes opened wide, his legs almost giving out. Nevertheless, he forced himself to run to the open arms of his lover.

Only to pass through him and fall to the floor.

Was he really a hallucination?

He turned back, looking to Alec’s grimacing face. There was a pain too grand in those hazel eyes to be a sliver of his desperate imagination. He could even _feel_ Alec’s presence, his magic recognized him. Looking more carefully now, Magnus noticed how ethereal, barely solid his body appeared.

“A-Alexander… Are you…” Magnus’ lips were trembling so much, he didn’t know how he forced the words out. “Are you a ghost?”

Alec nodded only once.

What little remained of Magnus’ heart broke at last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry for taking so long ;_;  
> It's finally here, and I hope you like this new chapter. It's not beta-ed, so there might be some mistakes.
> 
> Ah, you may notice there was a change in the number of chapters. I decided to add one more, thus the story is going to be a bit longer.
> 
> <3

_**Five years later** _

Magnus exhaled loudly, feeling every cell in his body tired. Dealing with demons was already a tiring job, but it turned ten times worse when they were painfully stubborn.

He huffed. In the end, as blasphemously as it sounded, Nephilim and demons weren’t so different after all.

As the King of Edom, it was his duty to resolve conflicts between demons, especially when there were some Downworlders who lived there involved. By instinct, demons were territorialists, thus they didn’t take lightly when any uninvited creature entered their dominion. Truth to be told, dealing with Vampires and Werewolves was easier than that.

Hell, Magnus was _exhausted._

Cracking his neck, he trespassed the threshold to his throne room just when a familiar figure greeted him from a corner.

“Long day?”

“Alexander!” Magnus beamed, forgetting his tiredness for a moment. “When did you come back?”

“A couple of hours ago. It has been more difficult to wake up lately. Sorry.” Alec bit his lower lip, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re still here. I’ll never take this for granted.” Magnus gave a small smile and approached his lover, hands hovering just an inch above Alec’s. They still couldn’t touch.

Alec was still a ghost. Magnus was still trapped in Edom.

When Alec appeared in front of him five years ago, an ethereal form trapped between worlds, not exactly dead but neither alive, Magnus thought their story was forever doomed. Being in Edom, he couldn’t help Alexander. He couldn’t even stay by his side and offer comfort.

But then he could, they realized. Magnus didn’t have access to Alec’s body, but he had his conscience. It was bittersweet.

It was enough.

So, they talked. A lot.

Alec told him how he felt trapped inside a nightmarish void after Jonathan’s attack. He didn’t feel anything. Darkness was his only companion and he drowned in it. Then, one day, he opened his eyes and was at the Institute’s infirmary staring at his own vegetative body strapped in all kinds of machines. For what he could evaluate, his lungs weren’t working, his heart was too weak and his brain activity was almost non-existent. He was covered with bandages to heal bruises and broken bones. He overheard some nurses talking about whatever dark magic Jonathan threw at him, it was blocking Iratzes and healing spells.

Feeling restless, he started to wander through the Institute.

Nobody saw or felt him.

Not even his siblings or his mother.

Their attention was torn between his state and Jonathan’s worldwide attacks.

Knowing how it wouldn’t make a difference to be there, he left. However, he felt lost again. The loft was gone. He wanted so badly to see Magnus… Even if he broke his heart, he still loved Magnus with all his being. If nobody could see him, then Magnus wouldn’t too. He could be by Magnus’ side without him knowing. So, he prayed. He thought about his lover and just walked.

Alec ended up in Edom.

And somehow, Magnus could see him.

Ergo, he stayed right there.

Magnus told him about Alicante. How he closed the rift and was forced to stay in Edom. He told about Asmodeus’ demise, the deal and the Lightwood ring.

Alec cried and apologize until his voice became hoarse (and they didn’t know it was possible to a ghost to be as ragged as a solid creature). Alec also repeated many and many times how he loved Magnus, how he was a fucking idiot for accepting the deal _(“But I’d have made the same choice again if that meant to get your magic back”_ ) and how he wanted to stay with Magnus if Magnus would still have him.

Of course Magnus would.

They decided that Magnus would keep wearing the Lightwood ring.

“I’m not proposing, though. I want to do this right as you deserve, touching you for real. Keep it as a promise for when the day comes.” Alec said, both turning a mess of giggles and tears.

It didn’t take long for them to get used to some kind of routine. They chatted, walked together along the dry sand of Edom, flirted, laughed. Together they kept an eye on Lilith who was still recovering from the Mark of Cain’s blast. It would take some time, but they knew she would seek revenge and they needed to be prepared when the time came.

Alec didn’t need to eat or sleep, but he always stood by Magnus’ side.

It took two years for Catarina to finally go to Edom to visit since the passageway between dimensions got stable. She couldn’t see Alec, but Magnus told about his presence there, which made her astonished as well as not surprised.

“You two always defy the Universe’s rules, I’m not impressed anymore,” She smiled, though with a hint of sadness. Magnus and Alec didn’t deserve that pain.

She kept them updated about everything that happened during their absence.

How Clary defeated Jonathan and the Angels punished her, making her losing memories of the Shadow World for a whole year before getting them back. How Izzy became the new Head of the New York Institute and started dating Simon (and Magnus couldn’t help his grin after seeing Alec’s perplexed expression). How Jace and Clary became engaged, but decided to postpone their wedding until Alec woke up and Magnus was out of Edom (both grimaced at that, not feeling anymore that hopeful of a good ending). How Raphael was happy as a priest and how Madzie learned a lot of new spells and was even trying potions now.

However, the most important information was regarding Alec’s health. Aside from some seizures, there wasn’t any improvement, but she always updated them. They transferred him to his room in the Institute per Isabelle’s request, and just a few selection of people was allowed to see him.

Everyone still had hope. They wouldn’t give up.

_**One year later** _

“How is he?” Catarina asked as soon as she entered the throne room and saw his friend’s grim expression.

Magnus only shook his head, red sparks flying sporadically from his body.

He was spiraling.

Since coming to Edom, the dimension’s dark energy pull was increasing, threatening to engulf Magnus’ heart and mind for good. It was Alec’s presence that kept him tethered to his sanity, but once the Shadowhunter started to ‘sleep’ more often, becoming a floating latent energy ball, it looked like both were slipping.

“Still sleeping. It has been two months now.” Magnus sighed, nursing another whiskey glass. “His body is getting worse, right?”

Cat grimaced. After Magnus explained what happened to Alec from time to time, she realized his ‘naps’ matched with reports from Alec’s seizures, cardiac arrests and other complications. If the periods between them were increasing, it could mean just one thing: they were running out of time.

“Actually, this is what I came to tell you. The Clave has submitted an order. They don’t believe Alec is going to wake up and quoting their disgusting words,” she made air chords to give emphasis, “'it’s a waste of our medical and financial resources to keep a soldier which no longer serves his purposes.’”

Magnus snorted. “What a surprise, said no one.” More red sparkles flew, this time stronger than before. He wanted to lash out so badly, burn the entire realm for keeping him there instead of Alec’s side.

“Magnus, they are really going to put him down. They have already set a date to turn off his respirator, and another for his funeral.”

“What?!” Magnus’ voice boomed through the castle and the structures trembled for a moment. His cat eyes were flashing a mixture of red and gold, and his magic was even darker than before, almost black. “They can’t. Those fuckers… Alexander sacrificed a lot of things for them, and they are going to abandon him now? What are his siblings doing?”

“They appealed for more time, but were refused. If they try to stop that, all of them will be de-runed,” Cat sighed, but smiled nonetheless. “Of course, they didn’t give up. They are trying to come up with a plan to get Alec out there without anyone noticing and take him to a safer place. I already promised to help.”

Magnus’ magic seemed to calm with that and he nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. He sagged at his throne, looking devastated. Catarina’s heart clenched at seeing her best friend hurting like that.

“Cat, I feel so useless. Alexander needs me and I can’t do anything to help. Even if he is just a ghost now, at least he is here with me. I know it’s selfish, but being here means he is alive.”

“If he dies,” she paused for a moment when Magnus’ cat eyes flashed to her, but she only sighed patiently. “If he dies, what’s going to change? Alive or dead he is still a ghost, Magnus. You can’t touch him. His body is at its limit without his soul.”

Magnus grasped his glass so hard, it broke between his fingers. Dark blood spilled, but the turmoil inside him was greater than any physical pain.

“I never heard of a Nephilim’s soul who floated willingly to Hell. Maybe… Maybe he will stay even after being dead?” Catarina tried, barely believing in her own words.

“No,” a third voice caught their attention and both turned to its source.

Alec was there again in his full form. This time, even Catarina saw and heard him.

“If I die, my soul will ascend to Heaven. It’s a tradition.”

He turned to his boyfriend, and Magnus could see how heartbroken Alec was.

“The Angels won’t let me be with you, Magnus.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have twitter, but you can always come to talk to me on [Tumblr](https://thelightofthebane.tumblr.com/)!


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